


You're My Purple

by rimjhim



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Blood, Coughing, Crying, Flowers, Gardener Zhong Chen Le, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, M/M, Prince Lee Jeno, Secret Crush, Secrets, Unrequited Love, Vomiting, forbidden feelings, more yearning than me jeno baby i am so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rimjhim/pseuds/rimjhim
Summary: Purple is the color of royalty. It's the color of the flags that fly off the highest points in the kingdom. It's the color of a king's robes.Purple is associated with dignity and controlled emotion; traits fit for the kingdom's future ruler.Purple is the color of the petals that Prince Jeno is coughing up ━ lavender hues mixed with crimson blood.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	You're My Purple

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based on the lyrics of [보라색 (purple)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRwxB2AW5HA) by sohlhee and taeil!! moonis pls rise for our national anthem
> 
> warning!! since this is a hanahaki fic there will be many mentions of blood throughout as well as mentions of vomiting! click off now if it makes u uncomfy

Jeno knows that his life belongs to his kingdom, not him. Even so, he tries to find every loophole he can until he is to be crowned king. A royal's youth is when he will be free the most, after all.

As the violet flags atop the castle's highest towers are in the sun for longer, Jeno's time being a mere prince is beginning to fade. It's a tradition in their land for the oldest son to be crowned once he is of age. Being the only child, the burden of their future falls onto his delicate shoulders.

Jeno cherishes the present now as much as he can, as the melodic repetition of the grandfather clock in the ballroom serves as a reminder that the course of time will always continue. He had been told as a child that the process for easing into coronation was to be gradual. This was a lie. He first noticed this when he turned 12 and his joyous days of horseback riding suddenly came to a halt, replaced with hours of Protocol.

He never thought that such a change would occur for their garden.

Since Jeno could not travel the world when he was young, it was brought to him inside the royal gardens. It was his own playground where he often hid from his lessons. The garden was such a treasure to him that he wished to preserve it into his reign as king.

Jeno descends down the stairs of the balcony. On each step, there is an ornate pot meant to hold a plant. When he reaches the ground, he walks past the pools situated on the walls of the castle and ventures out into the expansive garden.

There's a large stone path in the very center and a narrower one on either side. What separates them are two long flower beds, which are also empty. At the edge are a series of tall bushes that are pointed at the top. Streams of water poke out from in between them collected in a cement basin. The paths conjoin to the grass entrance of the hedge maze that Jeno knows his way through by heart.

When he reaches the end, he is on the edge of the grounds. On either side of him are the other exits of the hedge maze. In the very center is the garden's largest structure: the grand fountain. On the very top is a statue of a woman holding a pot on her head. From the pot, the water dribbles down the fountain. There are four tiers in total that the water passes through to reach the large basin.

Beyond it is a bench, where the best view of the valley is served, as well as the kingdom below. Seated on the bench is a boy Jeno's age facing away from the cliff.

His neatly combed brown hair and snappy outfit don't fool Jeno. His shirt has gotten wrinkly and his knee bouncing up and down━ anxiety. Jeno can instantly tell that he's a commoner. He's scanning through a clipboard in his hands. A worker from his right approaches him and he finally looks up. He nods his head to the left and they walk away, not before signaling to him that the prince is staring at him. He quickly scrambles up and bows sharply as Jeno saunters up to him.

Jeno gestures for him to rise. "Are you the gardener my parents told me about?"

He nods quickly. "Yes, your highness. I'm Chenle."

Jeno notices how tightly Chenle is holding the clipboard and a sense of familiarity washes over him. He must be terrified of him, like how he had been when greeting other nobility for the first time. 

He eyes the clipboard Chenle is hugging to his chest. "What are you planning?"

"Oh!" Chenle relaxes and lets his clipboard fall to his forearm, giving Jeno a clear view of his plans. They're light sketches of the garden with notes scribbled at the bottom. Each page has an entirely different layout.

Jeno's impressed.

"You're creative," Jeno compliments him.

Chenle smiles bashfully, his cheeks dusting pink. "Oh, thank you..."

Chenle rambles on about his thoughts of the garden, but Jeno finds himself staring at him more than the drawings.

"Unfortunately, I don't think I have any concrete ideas yet. What do you think I should do?"

Jeno realizes that he hasn't been paying attention to anything that Chenle is saying. "Uh... I don't think so."

"I do have one question, though." Jeno adds, "Are any of these plans concrete?"

"No," Chenle confesses, "I'm sorry."

"Wait, don't apologize. That's actually what I want."

"What?"

Jeno looks around to make sure that no one is eavesdropping. "This garden is very special to me. It was kind of my hiding place growing up, where I could just be a kid." He sighs. "I know it may sound trivial, but it's all I have left that hasn't slipped through my fingers. I'm just sick of how I don't get a say in what happens despite the fact that it's _my_ future."

 _Like how I can't even marry whom I choose_ , he doesn't dare utter aloud. 

When he realizes how much he's overshared, he braces himself for Chenle to jeer at him, to tell him that he should be grateful to have all of this in the first place. Not that he isn't, but it doesn't change the fact that he feels like he isn't ready for what lies ahead.

Instead, Chenle nods in understanding. "I see. Come with me."

As if he's being pulled on a string, Jeno tags along. They travel on a path off the hedge maze and end up in front of a glass building.

"What is this?"

Chenle takes a key out of his pocket. "The greenhouse. Have you never been here before?"

Jeno shakes his head. "No. My mother would faint if she saw me even walk on the muddy ground."

Chenle unlocks the door and pushes it open. Instantly, a wave of hot air blows into Jeno's face. 

"You probably want to take off your jacket when you come in here," Chenle advises as he slips off his own. 

Jeno obeys and steps inside. The stone path of the conservatory is barely visible as the leaves of other plants poke out onto it. It has the ambiance of a jungle, and Jeno feels as if he's being transported back to his younger days. 

Chenle leads him to a small brick patio with a large desk to the center with papers strewn all over the surface. Beside it is a stagnant pool with giant lily pads floating above. Water lilies are beginning to bloom on top of them.

"What are these?"

Chenle unfurls a paper that had been rolled up. "These are the gardens' official blueprints. I found them when I was exploring this place."

Jeno is in awe. "Why are you showing me this?"

"Easy. I wanna brainstorm with you."

"You," he sputters, "what?"

"Well, you said how special this garden is to you. The least I can do for you is have you choose what you want in it." He shrugs. "It'll be yours very soon, Your Majesty." 

Chenle notices a bewildered look. "Did I say something wrong?" 

"No!" Jeno exclaims. He coughs in an attempt to regain his composure. "You don't have to use those stuffy titles when it's just us."

"So…" Chenle fidgets with an eraser on the desk. "Would Prince Jeno do?" 

Jeno shakes his head. "Just Jeno."

Chenle shifts his feet, obviously taken aback by Jeno's insistence to drop formalities. "You'll be fine," he reassures him, "We're close in age. I'd rather have you address me as a friend rather than a ruler." 

He pulls out a chair and sits down, waiting patiently. "So, why don't we start?"

  


The summer heat isn't enough to deter Jeno from visiting Chenle as often as he can. As stuffy as the greenhouse is, being with Chenle is a breath of fresh air.

"Oooh, what's that?"

Jeno looks down at the new bracelet on his wrist. The diamonds on it glitter in the sun, sometimes blinding him. "A gift."

Chenle's eyebrows jump in interest. "Wow... it's pretty. The Huang prince, right?"

"Yeah, it's something." Jeno looks at the bracelet for one last time and unclasps it. He shoves unceremoniously in his pocket, as there is no one to chastise him for taking it off. Presents always have strings attached to them.

"Oh, that reminds me! I wanna show you something."

Chenle stands up, and Jeno's eyes drift away from the paper he's supposed to be viewing. They fixate on the gardener and his every move. Jeno, whose Protocol days were full of walking with stacks of books perched atop his head, is in awe of Chenle's relaxed nature. It's one of the things that he loves about him along with his charming laugh, dazzling smile, and eyes he could stare into for eternity━

A sloshing noise snaps him back to reality as Chenle returns holding a pitcher with a magenta liquid and two glasses.

"What's that?" He asks as Chenle pours it out into the cups.

"Violet lemonade," he responds proudly.

Jeno picks it up and swishes it around. "It looks pinker, though."

"It's not called that because it's supposed to be violet." He winks. "It's made with violets."

"They're edible?"

"Most violet species are." Chenle takes a sip and gestures for Jeno to do the same.

Time seems to slow when Jeno is with Chenle, or at least he wants it to. The lemonade tastes like the breezy countryside that he described his home to be like. Jeno wishes that he could someday see the world that Chenle is so fond of.

He wishes that he could be apart of it too.

However, wishes are not things that rule a kingdom. So Jeno swallows his affections down again, as there is no room for love in the reality he is in.

  


Prince Renjun is perfectly suitable to be Jeno's life partner. He is also a royal, so he would have no problem adjusting to the scene. Even his kingdom's color is a bright bumblebee shade, contrasting perfectly with their flag's lilac hues. They've been friends since they learned how to walk. They're meant to be!

The only thing that seems to calm Jeno in this tense luncheon is the lemonade that Chenle had introduced to the royal cooks after some coaxing. It became an instant hit with not just them, but his parents too. He was ecstatic to see that a simple home tradition became a royal favorite. It made Jeno delighted to see him this happy.

Today, however, he can only watch him from afar on the balcony facing the garden. Renjun is sitting beside him with his own glass. Jeno's stays still in his hand when the conversation takes an awkward dip. It's mostly one-sided as Renjun tells him about his experiences traveling abroad. As exciting as it sounds, Jeno's in another world of his own.

"You're awfully quiet," Renjun notices, leaning in. "What's on your mind?"

"Two weeks," Jeno echoes. "That's when everything changes."

Renjun frowns. "You don't want to marry me, then?"

Jeno chokes on his lemonade. He starts hacking violently, doubling over. Renjun stands from his seat to offer his help.

"Woah, I was just messing with you." Renjun offers the glass to him. "Try washing it down," he instructs.

Jeno listens and a few moments later, there's a faint taste of something similar to a bitter grape peel. The perpetrator falls into his hand.

A violet petal.

"Huh." His voice is hoarse. "How did that get there?"

"Maybe the water wasn't strained properly?" Renjun suggests.

Jeno nods. "Maybe." Violets are sweet when they are eaten, so why did this taste so strange?

He decides that he won't let it bother him as he flicks it away. That's when he sees that there are faint red stains where the petal had been.

  


"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Jeno thrusts out a closed fist and Renjun shoots out two fingers. His jaw drops and Jeno cheers.

"I demand a rematch," Renjun pouts as Jeno celebrates his victory.

"Too late!" Jeno sneers, "you're the one who said you wanted to play this game."

Renjun rolls his eyes and turns to face the hedge.

"And no peeking!" Jeno shouts as he runs into the maze.

Jeno tries to be as quiet as possible as he navigates through the shrub walls. As the wedding is so close, his parents have seemed to disappear, leaving him in Renjun's company constantly. Not that he hates it or anything. He enjoys having his friend around to distract himself from the strange tightness in his chest. It seems to affect him more as the daunting day dangles closer.

He isn't sure if he can blame him getting winded so quickly while running through on no longer being a child.

He slows down to catch his breath and begins walking. His pace becomes sluggish. His arm is out, brushing the bushes as he walks by them. He comes to a stop and frowns.

"Hey!"

The tightness comes back, and Jeno turns stiff. It's more aggressive than ever, as if someone is squeezing his lungs with their fist. He quickly turns, thinking he's been found.

Approaching him is Chenle holding a pair of hedge clippers and a ladder. "Jeno!" He says again, waving enthusiastically.

Jeno holds a finger to his lips and shushes him. Chenle understands and lowers his voice. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Renjun," he coughs. Why is speaking so difficult?

"Lover's quarrel?" Chenle teases, setting his ladder next to wear Jeno is standing. He takes his clipper out and starts trimming the top of the bush.

"We're not even━" Jeno coughs again, louder this time.

This catches Chenle's attention. "Woah, are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Jeno yells.

Chenle is taken aback by the sudden outburst and starts descending the ladder to move his work. "Alright. Sorry."

"Wait, no. I'm the one who should be saying sorr━"

Before Jeno can finish apologizing, the rung Chenle steps on cracks, making him lose his balance. He yelps and falls back, dropping the clippers. Jeno's instincts act before his mind can process what is happening. Moments later, both the ladder and utensils clatter and Chenle is safe in Jeno's arms.

Jeno stares at him longingly. He usually isn't a fan of being like this, but it's not because he hates physical closeness. It's because he knows that if he has an opportunity to be like this with someone whom he's so fond of, he'll be very unwilling to let go.

It finally hits Chenle that he didn't crash to the ground. When he sees that Jeno is responsible, his eyes light up. "My hero!"

Jeno isn't sure of how to respond, so he just nods.

"Jeno!"

Renjun's voice is a slap in the face to Jeno's yearning. He quickly puts Chenle down. His head starts spinning with one clear message: _I need to get out of here_.

He sprints despite his lungs screaming to him that they can't keep up. Jeno's desire to be alone is far stronger.

He reaches heart of the maze and stops running. Something prickly crawls up his throat. He falls on his knees in front of a flower pot.

His mouth opens and what he's been holding in for the past week finally spills out. His vision becomes blurry, so he can only feel the unwelcome taste of metal and grape peels on his tongue.

When it becomes clear again, he feels like vomiting again.

There are whole flowers settled on the soil, all of them with crimson speckles and splashes on them. Lilacs, lavender, and violets━ all of them purple.

Jeno grabs a fistful of the soil in the pot and tries to bury it. He wipes the blood that dribbles down his chin before it reaches his suit. The last thing he wants is for this to be discovered.

But even he knows that he can't keep this secret forever.

  


It's supposed to be a day of happiness for Jeno and the kingdom, but all he feels is dread.

He's in the greenhouse again. Anywhere else, he feels another _episode_ around the corner.

Finally, he can't take it. He leans into the pool and they come up. Over time, the contents have gotten far worse. At first, it was one petal at a time. Then it escalated to clumps, whole flowers, and eventually to almost the whole plant, leaves and all.

The tears streaming down Jeno's cheeks blur his vision as he pushes the flowers away to erase the evidence. He lets out a dry wail as another stream piles out. He doesn't think he go much longer.

"Jeno?!"

He doesn't bother turning around.

Chenle's footsteps are rapid as he rushes to the prince's side. He sees the flowers bobbing above the water and the red clouds swishing around.

"Hey," A smile creeps onto Jeno's face.

Chenle leans him back, hands trembling. "How did this happen?!" His voice panicky.

"You did this to me," Jeno says, coughing lightly. He reaches out to clasp Chenle's hand. "Still, I could never hate you for it. It made me love you more."

Chenle loops his arms around Jeno, pulling him in close. Jeno's hand moves to his cheek, wiping his eyes. It makes him sob harder.

"What I've found here," Jeno chokes, "is higher than anything I have ever been told to reach for. Within it, I found love. Because here, I found you."

Purple is the color of the new flowers dotting Chenle's garden, but it's also the color of the bruises in Jeno's lungs and heart. Chenle was like fresh air for him, but he's now the reason Jeno can no longer breathe.

At least he gets to take his final one in the arms of the one he loves the most. 

  


**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/navyquills) [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/glitterlele)


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